Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam

Whenever I felt like giving up or saw someone give up just because the task was too big to dream of, APJ Abdul Kalam gave me strength to not do so and pursue my dream. His words “There is always room at the top”, encouraged me to dream beyond my capabilities. Recently I went to Vikram Sarabhai Space Center where I got to know about his achievements very closely. I felt very honored believing that I lived in the age where greats like him have happened.


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Notes On Gregory Sherl: The world makes me want to hide in my bed/ but I was raped in my bed/ & this is how you end up on fire/ this is how you end up dead

Please do read

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Rahul Dravid A “Batman” for Indian Cricket Team!!

Rahul’s last match was coincidentally  Sachin’s last match in ‘colored’ clothing too.The way Rahul Sharad Dravid has retired sums up the story of his entire career. Completely overshadowed..!!! 
Many found his batting boring and slow, many find it reassuring, but, without doubt he was the dam that saved Indian from many catastrophes. For me arguing between Rahul and Sachin is like debating who is better amongst the Batman and the superman. Comparing these two is an insult to either, but, each one had his own role. But, there’s something in the Batman which makes me respect and connect to him more. While one was born to be a Hero the other fought his weaknesses to be compared. It requires a superhuman effort to raise yourself to a level where you are compared to a kryptonian living amongst lesser mortals and still not considered any less.

But, overshadowed, yes he was. Here are a few such instance I could remember and google.

Starting from the start, he scored 96 at Lord’s on his debut, In the same match debutant Ganguly scored 131 in the same match.
You remember the match where Sachin got a century the day after his father demised against Kenya in ’99 WC, right? Did you know, even Dravid scored a century in that match?
Also he was the top run getter in 1999 worldcup. But we didnt do well in that worldcup (Didn’t even reach the semis). Only few people remember Dravid’s 461 runs.
A score of 153 against New-Zealand  forgotten because Tendulkar hit 186 that match.
He scored 145 in the 1999 worldcup in England; in the same match Ganguly scored 183.
Remember that legendary match against the Australians in 2001? The one where Laxman scored 281 and Bhajji hit a hat-trick He scored 180 in 2nd innings too.
His 50 of 22 balls is the second fastest fifty by an Indian in ODI. A very unlikely Dravid innings. But in the same match Sachin and Sehwag scored hundred. How many people remember this innings? ( NewZealand, 2003)
He also has the second highest score by an Indian outside India to his name (270 at Rawalpindi, 2004). The highest score by an Indian outside India was hit by Sehwag (309) in the same series at Multan.

Indian team also holds the record for most consecutive wins while chasing, 17 wins.Though Dravid is adjudged an Unsuccessful captain for 2007 worldcup, he was a captaining the team in 15 of those matches.

He has stood in slips and retired with a un-matched figure of 210 test catches. Never shy of standing at short leg on a chilly morning.He was asked to keep wickets in ODIs, he did that too. He was asked to open at Lahore, he gave a 410 run opening partnership with Sehwag. He was thought to be  too slow for ODIs, he responded with fastest 50 by an Indian and two 300+ partnerships in ODIs. He was told that he was not a twenty-20 player, he responded by hitting 3 sixes in 3 balls. 

You know, everyone worships the God but you cannot become one and that’s the case with Sachin, you can only worship him,yet, cannot be him. But Dravid, he stood there and showed that through hard work and dedication a common man could make his way to greatness by conquering his imperfections. He stood for the symbol which Batman fans term as “Batman can be anyone.” He stood there as a inspiration that a human can stand shoulder to shoulder to the Gods by sheer strength of will, and on a given day…… better him.

Navjot Singh Sidhu had once said “Rahul Dravid is a player who would walk on broken glass if his team asks him to.” He was that kind of player.
And now, my heart breaks for the fact that even in his last match, he was eclipsed by Tendulkar who was playing his last match in ‘colored’ clothing.
Dravid was the hero we needed, while Tendulkar was the hero we always…..wanted. So, like Batman he chose the darkness of Shadows his Teammates cast over him, to work for the larger cause.
So I guess, the nation will applause Tendulkar not him in his last match. Because he can take it. But, he will be, for me, the silent guardian the watchful protector of the Indian Cricket Team

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You Dumped me as if I were trash

I talked to you yesterday.  You told me the truth. You actually ditched me like I was a dead electronic item in your kitty. I know this is a bad example but I never expected this from you, not a brutality like this.

You said “I need space. I need my Freedom”. Does that mean I can’t come near you? Does this mean that for now, I go my way and you go yours? Does your world seem crowded when I’m around?

And you added “I need to be Single.”

When did you thought that I was burdening you with our Relationship.  You said that you liked Flirting with other Guys. You did this when we were in Relationship. I didn’t mind it because I knew you did that just for fun. But now you say you also liked to Kiss other boys, yet you don’t want to be answerable to anybody. What the hell does that mean???  (Whatever wrong you have done to me you have never taken responsibility for those things, maybe sometimes you did accepted your fault but you never changed yourself to correct your wrongs so that it would never happen again. You kept repeating your mistakes and I kept trying to forget those mistakes just because I truly believed that you loved me. I was completely WRONG.)

And then you say “It’s not you, it’s me.”

You’re damn right it’s you. You have become so distant lately, it is like I don’t even know you anymore. Your words just seem like a feeble attempt to console me so I wouldn’t feel so bad.

And still you say “I am doing this because I Care about you.”

What the crap is that supposed to mean? You love me, that’s why you’d rather be away from me? You love me, that is why you’re asking me to give you space and time? I gave you space and time. I just told you to be there for me when I really need you. You were not there for me many times. So you say to me “We’d be better off as friends” even if I know being friends with you is the last thing I would like to happen. I’ll say “I hope you find your freedom” as I secretly wish that whoever you left me for (You got drunk just because some Guy pissed you off. I don’t remember when you got that level of emotion for me. How did you even let someone affect you at that level  while being in a relationship with me. You didn’t care for me), or whoever comes to your life after me, you should love that guy like I loved you and he should not care about you. Then you will realize how hard it is to love someone if the other person don’t even care about you. This is my rage talking, but I really do not wish any bad happen to you. I am unable to think and bad happening to you, I know I will come running when I realize that you are in need. If you will be happy without me, someday I will realize that I was not good enough for you and I will be happy that you broke off.
And then I will try to live my life without you, sometimes looking back to see if you’re following, to see if you had a change of heart and realized that you love me again. By that time I hope I’d be able to say “I don’t love you anymore” with more conviction and truth in it. By then I hope, I would have fully realized the wisdom of what I have written here.

I just hope that Whatever good and beautiful moments we spent together, will bring a smile to your face whenever those memories cross your mind ( I hope they Do).

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Trying Hard

How much I want to call her and tell her that I am not able to live without her. How much I want that she should come back to me. I keep looking over on the internet how to get over a break up. Then I realize how easy it is to advise others and when it comes to follow your own advise, you can’t do it. She is enjoying her life, but has taken a promise from me that I would not Drink or Smoke. How much I want to get wasted and forget all my pain, she hasn’t even allowed me that option.

I have started reading novels but this neck pain is not letting me to read properly, which again makes me think about her and need her to take care of me. I am thinking of running every morning. I cant let out my grief by abusing her because I really Love her. I want to shout at her for doing this to me, But cant do that regularly without attracting attention of others. Thinking of joining a boxing or kick boxing Class because hitting something really helps me. Hitting the Sandbag is surely going to help me. lets start searching for these classes.

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February 12, 2014 · 7:37 am

Bad Phase

Good things happen to good people, bad things happen to bad people. I think what wrong I had done to deserve this break-up. She says I have done nothing wrong and that its all her fault that she lost her feelings for me. But I am not able to digest this. Maybe somewhere its my fault that unknowingly I kept repeating my little mistakes which led me to this unfortunate stage of my life. Its like “THE SECRET” becoming true for me in a totally bad way. Some may console me that the Destiny will have something Good for me in store. I know these philosophy pretty well because i am well verse in consoling others so i know a trick or two. But when it comes to consoling yourself, it all goes down the drain. 

Maybe what became of this relationship was for good. Because somewhere deep in my heart I felt that she will not be able to live her life on her own terms if she stays with me. She said she thought she felt as if she was unfaithful to me because she was attracted to someone else. I believed her when she said that it was just attraction and she was not leaving me for anyone else. But what shocked me was that I was living in a fairy-tale that she will never get attracted to someone else at-least not to the point where she felt guilty for that attraction (Casual attraction was OK in our relationship). When she told me about this, my fairy-tale  Castle got shattered to pieces.

I always asked for explanation from her like she was standing in-front of some kind of jury. That pissed her off. I was not able to help it because that is my way of absorbing things. I am shattered now, feel like Crying a lot. Crying helps for the moment. Everyone thinks i am too much emotional for a man. But i never understood this point, because I don’t know any other better way than this to let out your sorrow. I cry whenever I want to let out my sorrow. Doing that right now. 

How much I want to make her realize her mistake and make her comeback but that’s not the way how life works. Everybody has his or her free will. I will let her go grieve for some time and without any other option I will be forced to suck it up and move on. But she will always have more than special place in my life. I don’t know where my life will take me, but life without her surely will SUCK.

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